Friday, April 08, 2005

Feeling outta and stuff

***Christian content*** (If this offends you, please pass on this post tonight...thanks.)

Can we talk? I mean, not knitting, or yarn, or anything like that...just for an evening?

I got an ugly email from one of my brothers today. I have four of them...brothers, I mean...I have two sisters, too. And if I may digress, it was kinda nice growing up in a large family (most of the time) because you could be at odds with three people and still have three friends. As we've grown older and established in our lives (I am the oldest at 51; the youngest is 40) many of us have chosen to remain close, to be friends. Some have moved (geographically) far away, some have stayed nearby. Some are loving, some combative. It's this last that brings me to this post tonight.

See, it seems like there's always got to be one in the family who feels like the red-headed stepchild. (No offence to redheads...I was one for a while...purple too, as I recall.) And that's what's got me feeling sad melancholy. This sibling has spent so much of his adulthood angrily lashing out at other family members. And while I don't pretend to understand the 'psychology' of it all, I really think it stems from a lack of self worth. He exhibits deep envy toward his own twin, because she's well-off and a real class act. He attempts to flog the Christians in the family by misusing Scripture against us. He has not spoken to our father in almost four months for a totally unacceptable reason.

He's hurting desperately and he wants the rest of us to hurt too, so he's made it his mission to wreak pain into the family. I feel so sorry for him and all I can do is pray. His name is Michael, and if you pray, please remember him to the Lord. Thanks.

In other news, there is very little knitting news other than to say that I yanked out the sock I had started and got down to the business of finishing the sleeves of the lovely blue sweater, at least, that is, until the computer died, Blogger crashed, the laundry mountains tripped me every time I walked through the kitchen, and the sunshine drew me inexorably into the yard to see what little thing has erupted through the frozen tundra I call grass. I am going to post this and then I will knit sleeves until my eyelids drift south. And then, I will sleep.

This is the only photo I could find on my harddrive tonight that really represented to me what I want my heart to feel like: rested and at peace. Boy, this dog isn't spoiled...much.

Michael, I love you. I pray that someday you'll realize that, and that I'm not the only one who does.

Thanks for listening, friends. We'll talk knitting tomorrow...and about the cute new labels I ordered for dd for her knitting FO's.



At 1:12 PM, Blogger Debbie said...

Oh those dysfunctional families we bear burdens for! I have 3 siblings that fight. I am the peacemaker in family.

I will pray for Michael.


At 10:09 AM, Blogger Atouria said...

What a precious, spoiled doggie! I wish I had one to spoil rotten like that!

I'm sending you some support for the family situation and some major sleeve motivation. Go sleeves go! Dont' be jealous of my sleeves, they're knit up on 8's so they're going fairly quickly. Yours look like they're knit up on a bit smaller gauge.


At 9:02 PM, Anonymous Michelle said...

Hang in there. I will say a prayer for Michael. It's harder for some than others to surrender to God's will. Take care of each other. *hug*


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